A Girl’s First Love

Nicholas have I loved.

I once read an article where a guy said, “I will never marry a girl who was not raised by her dad or with a dad in the home!” I was offended because it seemed snide, but this makes sense because a dad is the first man a daughter truly knows and who he is defines her depiction of a man. Sadly, in the black community most were raised by single parents. I am happy to say that I was raised with a dad and my parent’s were married, though my parents divorced, so I know what it was like to be raised with a man in the home, at least.

My parents got a divorce when I was 11 and all I wanted was my DAD. My dad was my rock, he was everything to me. We shared a special bond despite the evil forces around us. I graduated high school and decided I wanted to be someone in life and not collect welfare, government benefits, and struggle like half the other women I saw as I grew up. I left that measly old town called Albany, Ga where it seemed it is a melting pot of stagnancy and a lack of potency. I moved 96 miles north. I finished college and became a teacher. Somewhere along the lines I got pregnant out of wedlock and birthed a beautiful baby girl. I had the career, but no man so independent I was.

Fast forward to today. Psychology tells us that a daughter’s first love is her dad and she will model the men she chooses to date and love after her dad. My dad is affectionate; he loves to hug and give kisses. He is charming and he loves fashion. My dad loves to cook and he loves to drink Corona beers. My dad is not perfect because his temper is short as a millisecond and he has flaws like us all but still I LOVED MY DAD. No matter what happened, I still found a way back to his arms and heart. A few years ago our bond was threatened because my dad had to realize that I had to grow up at some point. We are over that bump and we are closer than ever now.

Considering all that and psychology, for me, I must say it parallels. Nick is similar to my dad in so many ways, as well as different. Nick is laid back and quiet -my dad can walk in a room and talk for days. Dad loves fashionable flair; Nick likes jeans, a cap, and a T-shirt. That’s about it on differences. My dad can curse like a sailor, so does Nick. Nick likes beer, so does Dad. Nick loves to cook and show off his food. Daddy does, too. Nick loves God, so does Dad. Nick loves to BBQ and the outdoors. Dad lives on his lawnmower and he loves greenery. Dad can sing and play instruments, so does Nick. Nick and Dad combined have tempers faster than an atomic bomb. The list goes on.

The final commonality they share is their ABUNDANCE of love for MiMi. My dad admits his faults when I was a child but I know the truth now. He wanted to be there for us but let’s just say there are situations when fathers don’t come out on top in ugly divorces. But that’s the past, right? My dad loves me and he always tells me how happy he is of my accomplishments. My dad is always there to listen to me and offer advice. His love for me overflows and my husband is the same way. My dad wants me to be happy and so does Nick. So when I told Nick my dreams about a wedding he was willing to make my dreams a reality. He wants me to be happy, just like Daddy and I will with these two guys in my life.

I am married to someone just like the first man I ever loved, my Dad! I pray that Embry will do the same because Nick is an awesome Dad.

5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Nick
    Mar 25, 2011 @ 14:33:22

    I love this and your Dad is one to have praise bestowed upon him! My dad is awesome too he always makes me feel good about myself and never judges me! That is all I could ever ask for.


  2. Nachesa Hope
    Mar 25, 2011 @ 14:34:04

    That’s a wonderful piece. Keep it up!


  3. SilentNight
    Mar 25, 2011 @ 14:35:50

    Wow. This moved me a lot. I really like your writing style. My dad is a wonderful man and I pray the man I marry will be just like him. You are a lucky woman.


  4. Whitney Franks
    Mar 25, 2011 @ 14:38:38

    I wonder what psychology says for the people who don’t have a dad? It is interesting because a woman has to have an example to look up to for a dad. I was not raised with a dad and I do have issues with men. I guard my heart a lot and I am not trusting. That is the vulnerabilty I think that happens when you are not raised with a dad. Most women do not know what a man is and either they overlook them or marry a jerk.


  5. David Hughes
    Mar 25, 2011 @ 21:38:23

    I would never date a woman who does not know her dad, either.


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